I like this.

one day...

This is Me.

Zodiac in degrees 0.00				Placidus Orb:0
Sun	Pisces	23.59		Ascendant	Leo	19.28
Moon	Scorpio	23.19		II	Virgo	14.11
Mercury	Pisces	1.39		III	Libra	13.09
Venus	Aquarius	8.59		IV	Scorpio	15.33
Mars	Libra	16.04 R		V	Sagittarius	18.41
Jupiter	Scorpio	9.47 R		VI	Capricorn	20.11
Saturn	Libra	20.45 R		VII	Aquarius	19.28
Uranus	Sagittarius	4.37 R		VIII	Pisces	14.11
Neptune	Sagittarius	26.59		IX	Aries	13.09
Pluto	Libra	26.24 R		Midheaven	Taurus	15.33
Lilith	Sagittarius	19.03		XI	Gemini	18.41
Asc node	Cancer	20.34		XII	Cancer	20.11

Sadness

It's been so nice lately in New York. Just the right amount of sun to take you through the day without having to wear a jacket. Mori and I decided to go buy popsicles yesterday to go with the happy spring day. Right after we walked out of our door, we see our neighbor from across the hall waiting for the elevator. He and his wife just had another baby 1.5 months ago. The older one is 2. As usual, we make our small talk and congratulate him on his newborn. He said thank you and proceeded to ask us if we knew about him and his wife's split. Uh...it was a little awkward. I tried to push through and respond with "no, we didnt..." Thank goodness he continued the conversation by telling us it didn't matter because he was going to try to be there as best he could for his 2 kids. So he's renting a unit on the other side of the building. He's still trying to be there for his wife even though they don't get along anymore. The elevator stops a level one. We exit, and Mori and I tried to say bye in the least awkward way as possible..."happy easter!" Gosh. What are you suppose to say??? I was so distraught as I walked out into the sunshine, as I walk to buy my popsicles that I wanted to go with the beautiful day. The whole way, I was so sad for them. The baby is 1.5 months old! Then I continue to question the parents. Why would they do this? Did it happen unexpectedly? Were they having problems? Was the baby an attempt to be the solution to their problems that just didn't work after 1.5 months? I felt sad for the kids the most. The little girl Helena is so cute and happy. I see her quite often with her mom, who I believe is a house wife. I also see her with her dad outside and I can tell the both love her a lot...but she's 2 and has to go through this. The other baby is 1.5 months old! Gosh. He did still use the word "wife," so maybe they're still trying to work it out. Sadness.

CRAP

CRAP. The more I stare at myself, the more I see the evidence of OLD AGE. OMG. As vain as I am, I never thought I'd come to this point. Back then, 3 years ago, as Bren, my old boss was telling me how she feels old and how she started seeing wrinkles, I was totally oblivious to how she was feeling. All I thought was she's just being dramatic. But now, I have noticed the area around my eye to be drier and darker. CRAP. As I do a fake smile, I see slight wrinkles under my eye! Immediately, I dab on all the eye cream I own and keep fake smiling until I see them disappear. Another sign of old age is that your cheeks begin to hollow in and the area under your eyes...which is about your cheek bones also hollow in. That is NO BUENO. No wonder my plastic surgeon uncle said " you need to stay chubby as long as you can stand it so that when you get old, your face will not cave in like all the skinny girls that appear much older than they actually are. Eventually, that caved in hollow look will all turn into dry wrinkly skin. " Not only will you be hollow, your bone will stick out so much you'll look like a cat + dried up prune with no soul or life in you. CRAP. Now now, I'm not going to go eat a bucket of fried chicken to plumpen my face, but I am going to look do a lot of collagen masks so that it retains more water and moisture which results in plumpness and no wrinkles. Next, I raise my head up to examine my neck. They say, makeup can help you shave some age off your face, but if your neck and hands are exposed, and they are in bad shape, you immediately age 20 years. CRAP. I see lines on my neck! So again, I slathered on lotion immediately. And of course I do it to my hands. OMG!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. When I go back to Taiwan to visit my plastic surgeon uncle John, I'm going to make him reverse time on me. CRAP.

*note that by the word CRAP, I am really saying the F word. CRAP.

Vail, Denver

This year also marks my 5th time snowboarding. This year is also the first time I have been able to enjoy snowboarding because I finally get toe-side. I have to say, the snow conditions in the west are way better than the East. It consists of a good amount of powder in the west and that gives you courage to do a lot of things because if you fall, it won't hurt as much. I wish I was a little kid because kids don't understand the concept of fear. They go all out. There was a 4 year old girl jumping off a ledge. OMG. I don't think I can ever do that. I'll be grateful if I can go down blues without falling much. I can't wait to be awesome at it and travel around the world just to snowboard. I think I can say I love it.
Our last day of snowboarding.
Mori and Kevin showing off in unison
I tried not to smile while wearing the goggles b/c my cheek fat would've exploded. Mori doesn't have that problem.
Pepe's Face. Half Ice. Know as the toughest part to get down, so I didn't go this way.
Pretty!

My favorite model at the moment. Liu Wen

Oh La Liu: Model Liu Wen - Beauty Industry and Products News - WWD.com

Hope

Align with me, stars
to swim upstream with me
Travel to clear waters
to let me breathe down under
Cast sunlight on
the crisp air we feel
to forever vanish
the dark clouds so near
Walk with me, stars
Shine as bright as can be
And I will do best
if you'll align with me please.